I can explain...

I worked an overnight shift from 9pm - 9am one day. I'm a zombie walking through the Panhandle of Golden Gate Park as I'm approaching a stop light. I'm thinking "kill me now or get me in my bed asap" but something catches my eye. What IS that?!

Is that....no...

Yes! IT IS! Of cOURSE it's a double-sided dildo! On top of a crosswalk light.

I had to wait to take these pics because I was part of an awkward-walking-same-speed-next-to-a-stranger couple, and I know she would have found it odd that I was going to take a picture of it and we were stopped at that light. I let her cross and then I backtracked to try to get a good picture since my phone doesn't have zoom. I think she saw it too, but didn't blink an eye...it certainly wasn't surprising to me either but I needed to remember to ponder explanations for this when my mind had more rest. So i photographed the silliness.

I guess I can't just assume two lesbos were going at it (cause 2 gays or 2 straights could be doing the same thing) but I do...so they were going at it in the park...which is pretty impressive that they're sexin' in public with toys..and not just any toy...to my understanding, positioning two people in order to make this toy work is not an easy task. Certainly not discreet. Were they homeless? or just into making sex in public more exciting? i bet they were going at it..and one of the girl's husband/wife drove/walked by and in order to get rid of the evidence, the only thing that could be done was to toss it up into the air and by chance and great aim, it landed perfectly on the crosswalk light...OR one of the ladies/men was 7 feet tall and could reach it easily. That seems to be the only logical explanation. Man...other people's lives are so much more exciting than mine! =(

p.s. if you have another explanation...please holler.

Nightlife at Academy of Sciences

Here Here Lil Feeshy

It was about time I made my way over to Nightlife at The Academy of Sciences. I don't want to spread the word at all or else I'll be looking at longer lines in the future, BUT I have to share how much fun I had (plus I know that if I even have any followers...they're my friends, so...) Every Thursday night from 6pm - 10pm they only allow 21 and up year olds in, sell us (expensive) alcohol and have DJs playing musics = $10!. If it wasn't enough to walk around enjoying the natural highs, you can enjoy them slightly (or very) intoxicated (!)..I wish I had taken shrooms. Just kidding? (I can't remember who I shared my blog with...). Get there early to reserve a ticket for one of the Planetarium shows. We went on an amazing ride to and through faraway galaxies on the World's largest all-digital projection screen. TRIPPY BRO, FOR SHO!

I'll share some pictures taken from my lame iPhone camera too. Every second I was wishing I had a fancy, bulky Nikon to give the beauties more credit..but these pics will have to do...I didn't keep track of real, scientific names....so I'll also be making those up as I go.

Inside the Rainforst Exhibit

Rainforest Roof

Tree of Awesome Frogs

Screaming Aquaworm

Smug Lil Froggie Bitch

Kadi & Tiffy poking at the Jellygina

Underwater Fountain Pen (I thought I was clever when I called it this..but then I saw the sign. This is it's actual name. Surprising?)

(White Chocolate) Albinagator

Big Eyed Dinosaur Turtle

BEAUTY!!

I'm floating around with them...and they don't hurt people...

Can you tell which was my favorite??

Seaweedy Seahorses


Click here the rest of my really bad pictures.

Joke #10

Q: What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A: FSSSSHHHH

(thanks teef)

Joke #9

A woman was shopping at her neighborhood grocery store where she put the following items in her basket:

One dozen large eggs, One pound of Swiss cheese, One box of brownie mix, One twelve pack of soda, Two pounds of coffee, One gallon of whole milk.

As she was placed her items on the conveyor belt at the checkout, a drunk man standing behind her watched very closely. As the cashier was totaling her items, the drunk calmly said,"You must be single."

The woman was taken off guard, but she was intrigued by the drunks prediction, since she was in fact a single girl. She looked at her food items on the counter and saw nothing unusual about her purchase that could have informed the drunk that she was single.

Curiously, she said "Yes, you're right. But how in the world did you know that?" The drunk slurred, "'Because you're ugly."





I'm at work and I just started cracking UP out loud...embarrassing...
Thanks Brooks for this.

Joke #8 (Snoop Dogg Joke #4)

Q: What does Snoop dog wash his car with?

A: Da hose!

Joke #7 (Snoop Dogg Joke #3)

Q: What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?

A: Dr. Dre!

Joke #6 (Snoop Dogg Joke #2)

Q: What does Snoop Dogg wash his clothes with?

A: BLEEOTCH!!